lies hurt.

yes, first thing first, i should say this. honesty is the best policy. why should people lie? to gain respect? to be safe? for one's own good? whatever the reasons are, we should all admit that lies hurt. time and again we came upon cases of broken families, couples split, friends fight, bribes, and many other cases that happen because of lies. lies hurt not only the party being lied to but many others. even the person who lies will sooner or later be affected, emotionally, mentally and from many other aspects. lies will only bring harm to oneself and also to the person being lied. when you are found guilty of lying, you start making excuses for all the lies and try to pull yourself out, but deep down inside your heart, you know for sure that you are emotionally and mentally stressed too. at that point of time, you'll regret what you have done and wish you are better. you hope for people to accept you back but fact is, things have changed because you lie. you'll be lost and you really hope to be forgiven, but only true love can save you. the rest depends on the world and the people itself and whether it is worth for you to be forgiven. will you learn from it and appreciate people better. 

**

truth is, i hate myself for messing up my own pride and dignity, my own life and happiness by making stupid stupid mistakes and lying before to the one who has truly accepted me for who i am. he learns his lessons from my stupidity and that sucks a lot, i supposed to give him a warm feeling, the one you feel when your mom cooks for you and feed you patiently, korekkan your ears for you with you lying on her lap, that kind of feeling, but have i ever given him that feelings? i don't know, only he and Allah know better. i feel low than ever and that serves me right. even if he hates me, i guess that is a good thing, because that shows that he got a working heart which feels the right thing and that is truly, completely honest. that heart deserves a place that maybe, i may never be able to provide,i hope i can and will be the one, but just to put it in words,  it's just too beautiful. at least, i know it is.

  

my life would suck without you.