i just wanna rip out my heart out of my chest so i won't be feeling anything anymore. so that i won't hurt u anymore though i'm not really sure who's the one feeling hurt. if there's one thing i wanna do right now, is that i want to go to a place where there's only me. at least i know i am really alone there so i won't bother thinking whether i'm on my own or not like i have to in reality. i just wanna cry alone there and the best part is, there won't be any exam there for me to worry about. i don't wanna make u serabut like u always feel, and for that i always hold back my feelings and it subsides, that's the best thing when i succeed in not making you angry or stress which then makes me happy too and can easily forget my rubbish feelings. above everything, i just wanna see you happy. so next time, don't ask me to tell you what's wrong, because if i'm not telling you, that's because i believe that good things need sacrifices, i believe there's a bright light at the end of the long dark tunnel, i believe that nothing comes easy, and that making you comfortable and happy is much more important and meaningful rather than fight for nothing and destroy us. if i'm too mengada of course i will tell you what's wrong, you don't even have to ask if i really wanna tell my feelings and what's bothering me. but if im holding back, and seem reluctant to talk about it, you don't have to worry, that simply means i can handle it and all i need is for you to be there for me, joke around and make me laugh. you know what my dear, you are so 'something' you can easily kill away my pain, no matter how hurt i am, seeing you all smiley and cute gilosss pujuk i, all my sadness got washed away. and that is something, even i couldn't do, not even for my own self. before i end this teary hopeful entry, i just want you to know, i don't have any intention in making you stressed out today, but rather, i wanna be close to you, and because seeing us pushing each other away, kill me instantly. like a mad girl, i need you mohamad nazrin, and you know so well that us being happy and strong together, it worth more than anything. as always dear, ajja ajja fighting!
but still, there's one thing i want you to do, if you really want me in your life,
can you stop finding other girls please?
No comments:
Post a Comment