the horses on the green, the stripes on the white, the words on the paper, in a nescafe red bag.

those horses on the green, and the stripes on the white, and the words on the paper, they are all lucky because they got to be near you, and they all succeed in flying there to you, while i'm still here, pushed away, and very much wishing i could take their places, to be near you, very very near. maybe, just maybe, being the horses on the green or the stripes on the white or the words on the paper is much better, because being them, will bring me so close to you. even when you are angry, sad, or you hate me so much, being them, i can still be there with you. because as far as i know, being naie, can hardly make you feel alive. it's like i'm killing you even when you say you want me so much. being naie, only bring you pain i never meant. and the thing you said just now that we can never be okay because nothing will be settled, is like you are giving the end point to us. i just couldn't respond, because i don't know what to think about what you said anymore, let alone what you wish to tell by that words. i  love you so much that it hurts to come to that disaster, to see nothing ahead of us because you had just told me that we're nothing because we can't work out the relationship. i'm fucking stupid, can you please explain to me? please, just please.. i just want to be the horses on the green or the stripes on the white or the words on the paper, because whatever happens, whatever is the meaning of your words, no matter how much hatred you have towards me, i just wanna be with you, anytime anywhere, even when you are not aware that it's me there very close to you.