can we both not cry?

i don't know what to think. reminiscing how we used to be, how u used to say "yes, we can make it till the end", how we were so sure about each other, till the distance came between us. we become so far apart, and it's not just because of the distance, but also our own selves. what do we hope for together when you are still here close to me? why do we have to be this way, not moving towards the better but stay fighting like there's always tomorrow for us to fix things? i am not so sure about that, im afraid, so afraid that i'll lose you someday and lose the opportunity and time to let you know that i will always love you no matter how and who you are, and that having you in my life gives me the greatest and strongest feeling in the world, you are so meaningful and important without you i will simply suffocate. i just hope that you will always be the air for me to breathe, the water for me to live, the comforter when im freezing, the heart for me to stay alive. no, you will never know how it feels to have a dysfunctional heart and soul, i tell you, nothing seems right any more when we are far apart. i just don't know what to think and how to live any more.

i may look okay on the outside, but never look inside, it's too devastated for you to see.








you are crying inside, but will you still find me to cure your heart? i bet you won't, bcs im just a pain on the ass no matter how i wish i can be the cure in your life. i suck a lot.