i feel great.

am having a fuckingly sickeningly stomach ache. not sure where did it came from but yeah, it kills. i always hate stomach pain, all kinds of it. but most of the time, it comes from my own ignorance. yeah, how can i not be when all i can think about is..well, you know what i mean for sure. i think i don't care about myself anymore, not that i want to be ignorant, but i can't seem to gather myself to do anything. oh yeah, you're right. i suck a lot. as i'm writing now, i am having multiple kinds of stomach pains due to various causes and is stupidly trying to distract myself to not think about it though actually, it hurts even more. oh thank you dear tummy, you little fat scumbag.

i am losing weight. was 48.5kg when i was 17 and now, it has reduced to 43kg, without doing any exercises nor any diet. i do not diet, that's for sure. shud had also mentioned multiple times that i do look skinny. my eyes look cengkung than ever, and sometimes i feel like falling when i stand. too light ke? i don't think so. i once asked shud, how can i lose weight when i didn't even go on a diet or even exercise. she said that emotions, worries and unhappiness can lead to that. i'm not sure how that helps in losing weight but i guess it works on me, even when that's not what i hope for. duhhhh..sakit peruttttt. and oh, macam mana dengan pinggang? was 29, now it's 25. what's happening to me???? i look more or less like a tiang elektrik, at least that's what my little sister said. and with my cengkung face and eyes, i do feel like a corpse now.

ate once yesterday. had peanut butter chocolate waffles for lunch today, and was full and lost interest for another bite even before i could finish it up. yeay me. a superb natural diet regime that i do not even know when did it starts. fuck.